Finding Utopia

Yesterday’s schedule was intense, but the plans that I had made for today turned out to be nearly impossible to accomplish…so, we readjusted, skipped the first “utopia” which would have been completely out of the way northwest of Cincinnati, and chose to hop down through lower Ohio. First stop was absolutely the middle of nowhere and showed no signs of former idealistic aspirations. Perhaps we didn’t try hard enough to see them in Oakland, OH, but we did drive around a little only to find cornfields and an abandoned general store.

"Utopia" #6...Wow

Just off the interstate, however, we caught sight of a little store that claimed to sell Amish goods and freshly made deli sandwiches. It was raining; we were hungry; it seemed like a good idea.

I was not prepared for the greeting we received upon entering. With a deep front porch and windows mostly obscured by the piles of on-site packaged nuts and berries, the store was dark and resonated with the sound of a small Lionel train and miniature environment that occupied most of the central space and housed more packaged goods in its underbelly. After my eyes adjusted to the light, I noticed something moving above my head on what seemed to be a mezzanine overlooking the space. When I looked, who did I see but the President himself, greeting Mom and me and addressing our presence with an incessantly waving hand. But, that wasn’t the strangest thing that we saw in Oakland. In fact, we actually witnessed a deer sing “On the Road Again” from his mounted little head on the wall. Without question, this far surpassed that creepy little fish.

Lunch was yummy, though, and we thoroughly enjoyed our chicken salad sandwich and pulled pork bbq which was harmoniously accompanied by “Boot-Scootin’ Boogie” intermittently interrupted by the whistle of the Lionel, which was piped through the speakers in the dining area as well. One might say that it was just a bit surreal.

The next “utopia,” we knew, might be a little difficult to actually find since we thought that all that marked Union Village was a historical marker. We figured that we would stop in the little town that was near and just ask around if anyone knew where the Shakers lived in the area. We didn’t know that we would be so fortunate to acquire a tour guide almost immediately in Lebanon, OH, but almost as soon as we spotted the local historical museum a local spotted us with our cameras and offered up his own advice on Lebanon’s attractions.

Our most helpful tour guide leaving us to explore

First, he suggested that we visit the ice cream shop down the street, an antique store that was just around the corner, and, most certainly, the oldest operating hotel in the state of Ohio, which was conveniently located just across the street. The Golden Lamb, visited by at least twelve presidents throughout its long history, did not disappoint, especially Mom, since its upper stories were reportedly haunted by a little girl named Sara who apparently sets all framed pictures on the wall just a little crooked.

The Golden Lamb and the room that Sara haunts

As we guided our selves through the little tour, we actually came across evidence of Sara. Oooooooo…..Mom got goosebumps.

We then crossed the street to ask someone we thought would be knowledgeable about the former Shaker village in the vicinity. Lucky strike, it was only up the road a little ways and had been converted into a retirement home. Interestingly, three of the original Shaker buildings survived, but when we stopped to take a photo of the historical marker, we were shaken a little by the intact, stiff, dead birds around a tree that was originally planted by the Shakers. We left.

The retirement village that now occupies the former Shaker buildings...also take a closer look below the tree

On our way out of town, we realized that the schedule was even tighter than we thought, and if we wanted to make it to Shakertown, KY, before the end of the day, we would seriously have to drive faster than 100 mph. So, we regrouped and decided to visit both Kentucky Shaker villages tomorrow and at last, eat a real meal and perhaps even rest some. But, first, we had to hit Utopia. Along the way, and with little expectations, we came across signs (yes, actually signs!) directing us to Moscow, OH. Too curious to pass up, we stopped in to have a quick drive around. It was a quick drive around, and we saw a couple of brick buildings that appeared to be old, but the highlight of the town was, without doubt, the nuclear plant that was piping steam just next door.

According to the Ohio map, Utopia actually exists along the Ohio River on a pleasant little highway that follows the water’s edge. It was so much fun to drive, in fact, that I got a little carried away taking the curves fast enough to make Mom nervous. As I passed a car, I also passed Utopia. It exists alright but only within a stretch of about 50 feet. I turned around, crossed the highway with little fear that a car would actually hit me, took a picture with the marker, and called it a day for utopias.

I promised Mom Utopia, and I didn't disappoint

Our day did not end there, however. Other than the brief detour that we took around Lexington trying to locate a mysterious by-pass (it appeared Kentucky entered the no-signage pact with Ohio), much more strangeness awaited us at the little restaurant in downtown Lexington, where, as Mom and I were recounting our day, a nice stranger sat at the bar beside us while we waited for our table. Conversation appeared to be normal (besides the difficulty understanding his trailing, slurred sentences), until we declined his offer for our dinner and his company. Apparently, Mom and I insulted him by honestly not wanting to have dinner with a completely random person. C’est la vie. Regardless, we had the best dinner, actually the only dinner, of our trip. I would say that the sweet potatoes and mint juleps made it, most definitely. Our faith in strangers was thankfully revived as we left the parking garage where the woman taking the money held the most enjoyable conversation about the filthiness of handling cash and catching colds…Now that was genuine.